I am seriously fed up with lies and getting my expectations high. I trusted you with your words, and you betray me. It must be so, so good to finally taste hope in the mouth. I hope you burn and seriously live into the deepest part of the ocean or become an iguana or something.
Memory Dump, 2012
This blog is seriously vomit of words as of now. I wanted to take amazing, great, and hipster-ish photos (okay, maybe except the last one) with whatever misfits I’m doing with my life, but a) my phone is kinda big b) I’m not pretty satisfied with its quality. Anyway, it’s already past midnight, and I can’t seem to get my lazy ass off the chair. And yes, I’m aware that I have an awful introduction. So today’s blog post is about…
From where I live, election was on May 13. It’s already two days ago, and it was just yesterday when everything became official and settled. There were numerous debates, comments, and reactions. The social media was going cray cray, as well as my acquaintances on facebook and on twitter. Almost everybody had said something one way or the other, and now maybe it’s my time to take off the leech on my chest.
I just can’t stop thinking how we, people, can be so hypocritical sometimes. (If you’ve been a reader of my blog ever since it was created or maybe if you’re someone who I can share my thoughts and my expressions freely, you’ll most certainly not be surprised about my statement.) Again, this is my view. I may be wrong or I may not be, but I just can’t stop thinking that way. People care too much about the event itself (that it was so heart-warming and amazing), and then what? As a citizen, we jaywalk, litter on the street and do prickloads of lawbreaking, and I don’t think that’s what a citizen who loves and respects the nation which brought him or her up would do. We can’t just put into the government’s hands alone the situation of our country. All I’m saying is that there must be a continuity. We have to maximize our rights. Voting is a big step, but for you to go from one point to the other, you have to walk. The more steps you allot, the farther the distance you’re going to travel.
And as for the elected officials, congratulations. I may only be a teen, but I have tried to help others, and it’s tiresome. It would take all your time, energy and effort, but if the passion is there, nothing is too hard. Filipino citizen voted for you, so that means they count on you. They hope for the common good and for a brighter future for their young loved ones. They believe you can do something to lighten up the burden; do not waste it.
Juan is overweight, and he thinks he cannot get fit anymore. Although if he would be willing to change his eating habit and exercise, he can lose all the excess fats. It would take months or even years, but if he puts his will into getting fit, he can. The same rule applies if we want change in this place. It’s not only the ones in the authority who has to work out, everyone has.
I’m pretty sure petty, egoistical readers are going to bash me when they see this as if I’m degrading someone or as if I think of myself highly than them or whatever, well I guess you should get some sleep.
Bitch (noun) Offensive: A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing; a malicious, unpleasant, selfish woman.
I’m so sorry I must have hurt you so bad. I am honestly unaware that I’m taking advantage of your kindness and compassion. And I completely understand, again, why you won’t bother speaking to me.
I never realize that it would hurt so bad. So bad that the sting starts to penetrate through my throat up to my eyes. I’m pretty sure you’ve felt this, too. Not once, but more often and it’s because of me.
May 10, 2013.
The Universe has been in a complete conspiracy against me. It is a tough luck that I’m still breathing and in complete pieces. I’ve done things I couldn’t imagine doing because I was poorly strangled by hurt and pain. I did my best to fought, though, with my bare hands. Until one day, I woke up completely puzzled about my life; about myself.
I know it manifested through my words, my actions, and even maybe through my appearance. My mind was a complete battle war as opposed to my body. My mistakes piled up. The agony I could not longer bear.
Anyway, the point is, that was my worst. I believe I’ve changed for the better.
You’ve seen my worst, and I wholly understand as to why you’re acting indifferent towards me. But I just… I hope you can still face me, and look at me squarely in the eyes and still see me the same.
My words have failed to speak for my mind.
School is a total wreck. Well, the whole education system is. Education in this country has grown fondly with the traditional system that is no longer applicable to our generation. Seriously, I’m a medical student and I may know a lot of things about science and stuff, but I’m not sure on how am I suppose to apply this in real life. I don’t know… maybe I’m wrong. I only observe that schools focus on producing people who have sharp memory, than those who can be considered as competent when they graduate. They test people based on their capability to comprehend and to memorize rather than actually understand what is written on the book or the application of the lesson to real life services. Personally, most of my teachers instruct us to memorize thousands and thousands of terminologies, give us heart-wrenching examinations and homeworks. There is only a few time to really understand what the lesson means because students are too preoccupied to research further about the topics. I don’t know.. maybe I’m supposed to learn them when I enter proper med.
Another thing I want to rant about is how people give advice. (Okay, I’m sounding like a total hypocrite right now.) School is hard, that’s already a fact I introduced to myself like 10 years ago; but as an adviser, you’re not only to provide your listeners with facts and horrible experiences— you have to encourage them to do better. And then there’s me. Since these advice are all unsolicited, I couldn’t help to think that some people just want to be good. They do things which can be helpful to others, but deep inside when they sleep at night, it’s only them who thinks they’ve brought good.
I should distance myself to facebook all the more.
Do you have those times when you start to get numb? Then suddenly there’s the sting that reaches your guts and turn them into knots and up into your chest as the pounding of your heart becomes noticeable; it reaches your throat, and twist it; finally the sting reaches your eyes and tears swell up.
It’s the time of the year I loved the most— December! Not only is the weather cool, but there are more holidays in this month (of course, who wouldn’t want to spend quality time in the house and just lay down and relax?)
Anyway, clearly this was taken two days before Christmas. It was lovely to go to Tagaytay that time because it was really cold and I got to spend time with my loved ones. We had our praise and worship service, games and picture taking (we love it). These are some of my friends in the church and that night is clearly well spent! ♥
If my memory is correct, this picture was taken at Avilon Zoo, one of our destination in my highschool fieldtrip and the last one as well. I always loved to go to different places, and so I enjoyed this tour. It was also this time when I got the chance to hold a snake’s head! (It was scaly-ish, but not slimy. It was cool and scary at the same time). Anyway, my highschool days were terrific because I was able to invest more time in things which I’m passionate about such as photography, editing, writing, and dancing. These were some of the pictures I took when I got there, and the ones which I find successful as it captivates everything perfectly.
I know this is something very unusual to post since school ended a month ago, but just suck it up will ya.
These are my blockmates. I consider them as friends, too. They’ve been the best in my two years in college. Our section is ruled by boys. See, there are only 18 girls out of 40 in our class. As for me, it was quite unusual to be surrounded by tough-looking, odd boys but their company was rather warm, so it became easy.
I just love them to bits. They’re such a fun crowd to hang out with (and very noisy because boys seem to have stored energy all around their body). I just hope I could spend more time with them before the school starts again.
This was taken after our Palarong Pangkalusugan program in Sampaloc, Manila. I had to take Health Care last semester as a part of our school’s curriculum. This subject is incorporated with Related Learning System where we apply into actions the things we learned from the subject course, and do programs such as this. It was pretty fun to sum it all. Crazy, but fun.
Along with me is my friend, Rica. She doesn’t look like a Filipino, but she is a true Filipina at heart. I met her at school way back my frosh year. It was second semester to be exact. We got along well because we live in the South and commute together. She’s one of the people who encouraged me to read books and watch TV shows. In short, to be a geek. Although, she’s going to move this semester into a different school, I do believe distance is not a hindrance. I’m pretty sure we can still catch up with each other’s lives, take a cup of tea and go cray-cray over silly stuff.